I’m No Piping Queen

I learned something about myself this weekend.  It was something I already knew, but I kept lying to myself hoping that if I didn’t give in to the truth that somehow my lie would become my reality.  Unfortunately this did not happen.  My truth is that I am not piping queen nor do I play one on t.v.   There I said it.  It feels good to get that off my chest and now I can embrace it.  I suck at frosting anything.  Cupcakes, cakes, cookies…it doesn’t matter what food item I am decorating it will turn into something that resembles a kindergarten craft project gone awry.  This is my story.

I decided to make some gluten-free chocolate cupcakes with a mocha frosting.  Sounds yummy, doesn’t it?  My cupcakes turned out well.  They were a little dry so I think I will continue to play with the recipe to increase the moist factor.  While making up my first batch of frosting I misread how much coffee to add so I put in double the amount needed by accident.  I ended up tossing that entire batch out because as much as I tried I couldn’t salvage it.

My next batch of frosting turned out beautifully and had just a hint of coffee flavor.  I decided to chill it and frost the cupcakes later.  In the meantime I made a piping bag out of wax paper since I couldn’t find my normal reusable plastic bag.  Big mistake!  My frosting was tearing the wax paper and I couldn’t even get much to come out of the end.  I quickly scrapped that idea and searched my entire kitchen until I found my plastic piping bag.  Eureka!  Now I can work a  masterpiece on these cupcakes.  Liar!  As I piped each one became more hideous than the first.  I tried taking more time while I piped, but this didn’t help at all.  Lastly, I grated some chocolate sprinkles on top thinking this finishing touch would help.  To quote Sarah Palin “You can put lipstick on a pig, but it is still a pig.”

Yes, I am no piping queen.  I don’t think I could even be a jester in the cupcakes’ court.

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3 responses

  1. Everyone always thinks, ooow cupcakes that’ll be easy. I learnt that lesson the hard way, but I’m really good at buying them so I’ll stick to that. Good luck in the cupcake court sounds, like that could be a kids story book.

    Woofs.

  2. Paul,

    It does sound like a kids storybook, doesn’t it? Thanks for idea….maybe I’ll use it after I complete the two children’s books I am currently working on. Bow Wow!

    Glutenvygirl,

    Wow! You went all Martha Stewart on those mushrooms. The lessons we learn in our kitchens.

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